God bless our healing journeys! Each and every one of them.
One of my latest ‘ahas’ on my own healing journey was over the Thanksgiving holidays. A small statement when I was offering to help basically summed up what I felt was ‘my place’ in my family. *This was my OWN feelings. While it was ‘my truth’ it does NOT mean it was the ACTUAL truth. Each scenario in our life offers ‘my’ perspective, ‘their’ perspective and the actual truth. They rarely match up in the reality of things.
DON’T GET IN THE WAY.
I always felt like I was in the way. No matter what I did, didn’t do, say, didn’t say, it felt as if I was ALWAYS in the way and never a welcomed addition. …which is WHY I worked so hard to become ‘everything to everyone’ so I was wouldn’t be seen as JUST ‘in the way.’
I wasn’t old enough to do many of the things my siblings were doing or wanting to do. Especially while on vacation. I can’t count how many times I was left with a family member, security guard, ticket taker or other ‘gatekeeper’ while my family did what I was not old enough to do. (Gotta love the blind faith in people in the 70’s and 80’s!)
While this feeling started within my family dynamic, it quickly bled into ALL areas in my life and how I showed up in the world. This is not a beneficial energy as those around us reciprocate the energy that we are putting out about ourselves.
It has taken 48 years to recognize that the feeling that I am ‘always in the way’ is a pattern based on a false truth. It is a pattern that is no longer serving me, It is a pattern that I am ready to release with love and heal the space it was taking up.
This holiday season, I invite you to step outside of the experience and patterns and become an outside observer. What patterns can you identify in your own family and friend dynamics that no longer serve who you are today? I invite you not only to identify the patterns, but choose to break free from this loop and energetically replace it with what is in your highest and best good at this moment.